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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She makes video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it pops up like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I'm in conversation to another person, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with someone. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an viewers. I am not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of offering access, providing her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the work we create together can achieve: an opening. I understand not all people likes being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal videographer, but companions help each other in minor capacities. I thought recording a short video now and then would be fun for Beth. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our time together.

I value our friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She needs to honor her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some authentic experiences, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to what’s reasonable. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?