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This period marks a ten-year milestone since the word “ghosting” entered the public consciousness. At the time, the concept that someone could abruptly cease all contact with a partner without a word seemed like the peak of rudeness. We were so innocent. In the 10 years since, seeking a significant other has only become more bewildering – an frequently fruitless pursuit in embarrassment that is increasingly shaped by online jargon.

Gen Z, a cohort who grew up during a social isolation epidemic, a masculinity reckoning, and a concerted challenge on the rights of females and the queer community, faces a far messier environment than their millennial forerunners could ever envision. And so their romantic lexicon has grown longer and more deranged, with terms like “Ogre-ing” and “monkey branching” testing the limits of your mental fortitude.

What follows is a detailed glossary to the phrases gen Z is using to talk about love, sex and the quest of both. To echo one of the year’s most viral online sayings, by the conclusion of this glossary you’ll ache to get back to a bygone era – because where that is, it doesn’t have “wokefishing”.

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The Letter A

Authenticity – According to Zoomers, dating’s ultimate goal is showing up as your real, unvarnished self. Good luck with that!

The Letter B

Feathered friend test – A social media test inspired by a methodology developed by couples researchers, in which you bring up something minor – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and pay attention to whether your date's response is engaged or dismissive. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Independent partner – Zoomers' response to the “quirky fantasy girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but rather than having short fringe, liking The Smiths and eschewing commitment, the black cat girlfriend puts herself first while exuding mystery and independence. (She might still have that fringe.)

The Letter C

Seat theory – This refers to seeking out someone who helps you proactively. If you walked into a room, they would pull up a chair for you to sit down.

Choremance – A meet-up where two people bond while doing chores, such as walking the dog or food shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped people in their 20s do affordable dating in a post-cheap-date world.

Emotional spiral – Having a breakdown when you feel burdened by life. You can lose it over a infatuation or breakup, venting all of your unreciprocated emotions.

D

DINK – Double income, no kids. Once a signifier of 1980s yuppie affluence, it refers to partners who choose against having children to prioritize their own happiness. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Open communication – The opposite of being guarded: utilizing dialogue, transparency and vulnerability.

The Letter F

Flags

• Warning signs – Behavioral traits suggesting a potential partner is not right. Such as calling their former partners unstable, bad gratuity habits, a fondness for controversial director films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Green flags – These traits validate your choice to date a partner. Examples include checking in to make sure you got home safe after a date, minimal phone use, owning a bed frame …
• Neutral quirks – These usually describe specific, largely benign quirks. Examples include being an keen ornithologist, still carrying around a biro in their wallet, paying rent in physical money …

Shared obsession pairing – When you meet someone who’s just as obsessive about documentaries about the second world war or physical media hoarding or collaging or anything it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who despises the same stuff or individuals that you do (nothing creates closeness faster than sharing a common enemy).

G

The band Geese – A band a typical Zoomer guy listens to.

Zombie-ing – Someone who reappears into your life after a period of disappearing.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is affable, accommodating and loyal. The rare boyfriend who is beloved by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's opposite.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A primarily online community of men so fixated with masturbation that they attempt marathon sessions, purposefully postponing climax so they can go on as long as possible.

The Letter H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A phenomenon describing many women's increasing despair toward straight relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Manosphere archetype – An stereotype promoted by manosphere figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, nurturing and contentedly domestic, who seemingly has no ambitions of her own other than satisfying her man partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “pessimism” thing better?

The Letter I

Turn-offs – Arbitrary and usually everyday turnoffs that instantly kill any feelings of attraction.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else get an extremely romantic gesture.

J

Careers – These have not been this crucial in the dating scene since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ideal catch: a preppy, conservative-leaning guy who will be a provider (there’s a hit TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd prefer partners in sectors they see as being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: nurses, educators or therapists.

The Letter K

Locking lips – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has existed for 16m years. But the era of locking lips may be limited since some gen Z prefer fewer intimate scenes in movies, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find cinematic romance authentic.

Enhanced profile crafting – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using older (better) photos of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your career sound more important than it is. Also known as {